Going through changes
by Reidemption
Summary: A dark fic involving Hotch and alcoholism. PAIRING HOTCH/REID      DISCLAIMER: I own nothing but the sick mind that formed these words together. WARNING: Deals with domestic violence and rape.


"Aaron stop" he was scared but he had to keep his voice strong. He had to remain calm. Someone needed to be in control of the situation.

"Daddy! stop" Jack cried as he stood in the doorway looking into the bedroom.

"Jack no, go back to your room" Reid ran over to the child and lifted him into his arms. He walked him down the hall as the boy cried in his arms. He rubbed his back trying to sooth him "It's going to be ok, I promise". He placed the little boy in his bed and sat on the edge "I need you to stay in here okay? No matter what you hear you stay in here" Reid looked him in the eyes and Jack nodded tears falling down his face. Reid got up and walked out of the room closing the door behind him.

He took a breath and then re-entered the bedroom. Hotch was throwing things around, breaking everything he could get his hands on. "Aaron" Reid licked the bottom of his lip. It was a nervous habit he was never able to break. Hotch didn't turn around he didn't stop. He continued to throw things to the floor. Shattered lamps and pictures lay on the floor in the bedroom scattered around. Reid carefully walked over to him and laid a hand on his arm. Hotch turned around in a whirlwind and grabbed Reid's hand in a crushing grip. Reid winced and tried to pull his hand back but the grip only got tighter. He looked at Hotch with fear in his eyes. All he saw in return was anger.

Hotch raised his other hand and backhanded the younger agent. Stumbling backwards he fell onto the bed. Before he had time to register what was going on he felt Hotch's weight on top of him. He struggled to get him off but it was no use. Hotch was twice his weight and more than overpowered him. "Please, Aaron" he whispered.

"Shut up!" Hotch snarled into his face. Reid flinched and tried to turn his face away. "Look at the mess you made!" he screamed and slapped Reid again. "Unh" Reid's face hurt, it felt like his cheek was on fire. "You're gonna clean this up" Hotch growled and lifted himself off of the younger man. When Reid didn't make an effort to move Hotch grabbed his leg and yanked him off the bed "Are you fucking deaf?" Hotch grabbed his throat and yelled in his ear. Reid reached up to get his hands off his throat and tried to shake his head.

Hotch threw him to the floor "NOW!" he demanded. He kicked Reid as he walked out of the bedroom. Reid nodded to himself slowly.

He looked up and saw that Hotch had left the room. Fear overcame him and he wanted nothing more than to just break down and cry but he knew he had to remain strong and intact. He lifted himself slowly off the floor and walked towards the door. He peeked out to see if Hotch was anywhere in sight. He didn't see him. He heard glasses clinking together and figured Hotch had found more liquor. He knew this was going to get worse before it got better and he didn't want to but he knew he had to call someone.

Looking around the room he searched for his phone. Spotting it in the corner he made his way over to it and kneeled down. His whole body was shaking and he found it hard to dial. He didn't even know who he should call all he knew was he had to get Jack out of here. He didn't think Aaron would ever hurt his son but he never thought Aaron would hurt him either.

He took a deep breath and calmed himself down enough to dial a complete number. The phone rang and he prayed the person on the other end would pick up.

"What are you doing?" he heard a snarl coming from behind him. He held his breath and froze. He dropped the phone leaving it on and quickly stood up to face an angry Aaron Hotchner. "Who the fuck are you calling?" Hotch's voice rose. "I uh.. I wasn't calling anyone" Reid answered quickly breathing hard. "You little fucking liar" he took a step towards and Reid flinched as he passed him and knelt onto the floor to pick up the phone. He waved the phone in front of Reid and then threw it to the floor, stomping it.

Reid closed his eyes shut bracing himself to be hit again. He gasped as he was pushed hard against a wall. "Who'd you call..Morgan?" Hotch sneered. Reid didn't answer he kept his eyes shut tight. "Look at me!" he pounded his fist against the wall on the side of Reid's head. He snapped his eyes open and held his breath. Hotch reeked of liquor.

"I told you to fucking clean this room" Hotch's voice was tight as he spoke he looked around the room. "I'm I.. I'm sorry" Reid whimpered. "No but you're gonna be" he grabbed Reid by the shirt and threw him back onto the floor. "Don't" Reid pleaded through whimpers. Hotch glared down at him. He started to undo his belt and Reid lost it. Breaking out into uncontrollable sobs. He was terrified.

"NO DADDY!" a little voice came from the hallway. Hotch had yanked his belt out of the loops and was in the process of wrapping it around his hand when he heard the voice. His head snapped to the hallway to see his son. "No! Jack! Go back!" Reid yelled "Please" he cried "Don't come in here" he pleaded. Ignoring him Jack ran over to Reid and hugged him "No daddy leave! Leave Spencer alone!" Jack cried and tried to push his father away.

Reid quickly grabbed the little boy and pulled him away and held him tight. He knew anything could provoke Hotch at the moment. Hotch looked down at both of them. His eyes were glazed and Reid couldn't tell exactly what emotion was coming through them. "Please" he said looking up at his lover, "Please let me take him back to the room". Hotch's grip on the belt in his hand tightened and he nodded towards Jack's room. Reid swallowed the lump in his throat and slowly, cautiously got up. He grabbed Jack's hand and rushed past Aaron out of the room.

Jack's crying was the only thing Reid could hear. He couldn't even think straight. "Sp...Spencer" Jack cried "Why is daddy doing this?" he sobbed. "I don't know, Jack" Reid said as they entered the little boy's room. "But you need to stay in here okay?" he wiped the tears from his own eyes and then used his sleeve to do the same for the boy. "Stay here" Jack pleaded through his cries. "I-I can't" Reid stammered. "No!" Jack cried harder, "Daddy is hurting you".

"I'm ok, buddy" Reid responded trying to calm the child down. He knew he wasn't but he needed the boy to believe he was to keep him safe. His safety was nothing compared to Jack's and he wasn't going to let anything happen to him.

"REID!" he heard his name being called from the bedroom. He flinched and bit down on his lip. "Jack I need you to do me a favor ok?" Reid looked at the little boy and knelt down. Jack nodded "What?". "I need you to lock the door" Reid said calmly. They both heard Hotch yell his name again and flinched at the same time. Jack crying harder. Jack nodded and hugged Spencer. Reid sighed and got up.

As he walked out of the room he heard the door lock and relief washed over him. Slowly he walked back into the bedroom and was grabbed right when he entered. Hotch grabbed him by the hair dragging him to the bed "Did you not hear me calling you?" he snarled in his ear. Reid didn't answer. He was thrown onto the bed and flipped over. He buried his face into the sheets and clenched his fists. The pain came quick as Hotch hit him with the belt. He whimpered as the pain became worse and worse as Hotch upped the strength he used to hit him. He was screaming and crying out in pain by the time Hotch stopped.

He couldn't stop the tears from coming and tried hard to breathe but he felt like he was choking on his sobs. He felt Hotch's fist connect with his back and yelped. Soon his pants and boxers were being dragged down. "NO" Reid yelled into the mattress. Hotch grabbed a fist full of hair and yanked his head up. Reid winced and suddenly felt Hotch's weight on top of him straddling him. He tried to grab at the hands in his hair but nothing he did released the grip. Hotch undid his own pants and pulled them down, roughly jabbing his knee into the middle of Reid's legs to separate them. He positioned himself between the boy's legs and positioned his cock at the boy's entrance. Reid squirmed as he felt it. He bit down hard on his lip and tried to prepare himself mentally for the pain. Nothing could have prepared him for what happened next.

Hotch jammed himself into Reid and the younger man screamed in agony. The pain was unbearable. Hotch pulled back and slammed back in harder. "Take it like a fucking man" Hotch commented when Reid continued to scream and grimace in pain. Reid cried out and sobbed into the mattress as Hotch relentlessly shoved into him. "Go ahead, cry for me, pretty boy" Hotch taunted. Reid bit his lip harder and tried to control his sobs.

Viciously Hotch pounded into him grunting and moaning. "You're so tight" he commented into the boy's ear. "But we're gonna change that aren't we?" he laughed. Reid gasped for air and tried to struggle underneath the weight. Each struggle resulted into being pounded into harder. He cried harder at the realization.

A sudden noise from down the hallway made Hotch stop. He looked over and then back at the lithe body underneath him. He thrust more frequently inside the boy until finally he came. Reid scrunched his face when he felt it leaking down inside him. Hotch slowly got up and pulled his pants up. He zipped and buttoned himself and headed out of the room.

Reid heard pounding on the door and heard it being opened then heard Hotch's whole demeanor change. "No we're fine" he heard his calm voice coming from down the hall. Reid struggled up and somehow managed to pull his pants up. He sat at the edge of the bed and buttoned and zipped himself up. He wiped at his eyes with his sleeve and sniffled into it. He heard footsteps and hopped up.

"See?" Hotch motioned towards Reid. Reid looked behind him and there was Rossi. Rossi appeared at Hotch's side and then walked into the room. "Reid are you okay?" he asked concern on his face. Reid nodded and looked down "I-I'm fine". He was honestly surprised he could even talk. Rossi looked the kid up and down. "Rossi says he got a call from you, Reid" Hotch broke the silence "Did you call him?" he glared at Reid. "Uh y-yeah sorry I uh.. I dialed the wrong number" Reid breathed.

Rossi shook his head and turned around. "What happened to the room?" he asked Hotch calmly. Hotch looked around like he was just noticing for the first time. "Jack was playing in here.. things got messy" Hotch said and sat down on the bed casually. "Yeah? Where is Jack, Aaron?" Rossi asked smugly. "In his room, Dave" Hotch answered clearly annoyed. Rossi nodded his head in faux understanding "And the liquor bottles all over the living room and in the kitchen? Jack having himself a little drink?" he questioned. Hotch laughed. "Fine. I was fucking Reid and things got rough, is that what you want to hear?" he grinned looking up at the older man "He likes being slammed into" he added with a dangerous smile.

"Isn't that right, Spencer?" Hotch narrowed his eyes and looked up at the younger agent. "Y-yeah" Reid confirmed refusing to meet Rossi's gaze. He wrapped his arms around his torso protectively and kept his head down. "And the alcohol?" Rossi interjected. "Tell him, Reid" Hotch chuckled. "Everythings fine, Rossi" he whispered and forced himself to look up at the older man.

Hotch got up and walked over towards Reid. Reid's flinch didn't go unnoticed by Rossi. "Satisfied?" Hotch asked the older agent as he put his arm around Reid. Rossi nodded and walked out of the room. "Good boy" Hotch whispered into Reid's ear as the man left.

Hotch followed Rossi out of the room and Reid worked up the courage and yelled out "Rossi!". Both of the older men turned around and looked at the boy. Hotch glared and Rossi waited for him to speak. "Could you uh.. take Jack?" Reid somehow managed to get the words out. Hotch clenched his fists and his body grew tense. Rossi looked at him for an explanation he knew something was wrong and he needed Reid to say it. "I uh want to be alone with Aaron" Reid added. Rossi frowned and shook his head. Reid sensed the disappointment but he couldn't do it. He couldn't turn on Hotch.

"Of course" Rossi said. The older man walked towards the boy's room and knocked announcing himself. Jack refused to open until Reid called out to him "It's ok, Jack. Open the door.". Jack opened the door and ran down the hall into Reid's arms. He hugged him tight and Reid rubbed his back "I'll be ok" he reassured him. Jack nodded and ran to Rossi, ignorning his father's presence. This also didn't go unnoticed by Rossi.

Hotch never took his eyes off Reid. "Aaron I need a word with Reid" the older agent finally spoke up. "Go ahead" Hotch said as he turned to look at Rossi. "Without you" Rossi smiled. "Just get the fuck out of here Dave" Hotch snapped. Jack cried and clutched onto Rossi tight trying to bury himself into the man's chest. "What are you doing to them?" Rossi asked calmly staring straight into the other man's eyes. "This is your son. This is your lover. What the hell is wrong with you?".

Hotch moved towards Rossi in a hostile manner and Reid threw himself between them "No!". "Just go Rossi" Reid pleaded "Please just leave. Everythings alright please!" he was aware of how pathetically desperate he sounded but he didn't even care. He didn't want anyone else hurt. Rossi shook his head at Reid and left the room holding Jack. "Not much of a genius are you" Rossi commented as he turned back to look at Reid. The younger man lowered his head and stared at the floor.

Rossi glared at Hotch as he exited the apartment. Hotch shut the door and pounded his fist into it. Reid swallowed and looked up. Hotch was at the door with his head resting on it. He looked worn out, exhausted. He turned and leaned against the door. Sliding down he let himself relax and sit in front of it.

Reid hesitantly moved from his spot and slowly walked down the hall towards his lover. Hotch looked up when he heard the footsteps. He saw the tear stains on his boyfriend's face and lowered his head down, "You ok?" he asked. Reid didn't know how to answer the question. He waited a moment and then just said what he knew Hotch wanted to hear. "I'm fine" he said and slumped down to sit near Hotch.

"You shouldn't piss me off like that" Hotch commented. Reid winced inwardly at the words. "I'm sorry" he apologized to the older man. "I forgive you" he turned and looked at his young lover. Reid looked up and bit his lip "Thank you" he choked out. "Come on, let's clean this shit up" Hotch said as he got up. He lowered his hand down and offered it to Reid. Reid took it and was pulled up. Hotch noticed his wincing and rigid movement. "Sorry about fucking you so hard" he scoffed.

"Yeah" Reid looked down. Hotch walked away into the bedroom and Reid headed into the kitchen. He saw the liquor bottles scattered all over the counter and wanted to throw up. He limped over to the sink and turned the water on. He splashed some onto his face and thought back to the weekends events. All weekends started blurring together in his head. He couldn't even tell the difference between one from the other.

Every weekend Hotch would get drunk to drown his sorrows. He couldn't pinpoint when it started. Hotch always drank. Never this much but it was such a subtle change he couldn't even think back to when it became this. It started with yelling, it progressed to arm grabbing, shoving. He should have known but he ignored the signs. Love has a funny way of blinding you and shielding you from things.

Hotch walked into the living room and Reid made his way to the bedroom. He still hurt all over but he knew Hotch didn't mean to. Substance abuse is a bitch and it brings out the worst in you. Hotch forgave him afterall so why couldn't he forgive Hotch? He laughed to himself at the utter stupidity of that thought. He knew it was stockholm.. maybe even delusion at it's finest. He grabbed his go-bag from the closet and knelt down digging inside. He sighed in relief when he found it. He pulled it out of the bag and squeezed the bottle in his hand. _Thank you, Tobias._


End file.
